Hey, those variables don’t grow on trees, y’know!

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This company has customers around the world, and a key IT function is collecting and processing data files from them, reports a pilot fish on the inside.

"The files have a common naming structure that includes the file-creation date," fish says. "The filenames are stored in a SQL Server table, along with information such as how many rows of data the file has and when it was processed.

"Because of our workload, our manager hired a SQL consultant to 'streamline' some jobs. I'm not going to knock the guy -- he did have some talent and good ideas -- but if he was half as smart as he made himself out to be, he would be twice as smart as he really was."

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